The Air He Breathes
by Brittainy C. Cherry
I was warned about Tristan Cole.
“Stay away from him,” people said.
“He’s cruel.”
“He’s cold.”
“He’s damaged.”
It’s easy to judge a man because of his past. To look at Tristan and see a monster.
But I couldn’t do that. I had to accept the wreckage that lived inside of him because it also lived inside of me.
We were both empty.
We were both looking for something else. Something more.
We both wanted to put together the shattered pieces of our yesterdays.
Then perhaps we could finally remember how to breathe.
Spice Level: 2/6 | Story Score: 7.5/10 | Rating: 3.5/5 |
So after Ranger bared my feelings to the world, and then XOXO tried to soothe them with aloe, I felt like I needed something to take advantage of feeling vulnerable. I was hoping for something tragic in a very specific way. I sent out a request for ideas in the Facebook groups and as I’ve established, I’m impatient. I have also completed my February-specific challenges, so I started looking at books that I downloaded (and returned unread) from Kindle Unlimited when I first got it…in 2016-ish. The Air He Breathes is one of those books, and the blurb sounded…profound maybe.
In the first chapters, you know what the tragedies in the book are. If you have triggers, check your trigger warnings on this one. They’re in the spoilers before I give the story ones.
Let me be completely honest: I don’t read widow stories. I have a hard time with them. (Like most things in books, my opinion on this is entirely different in real life. Don’t hate me.) STRICTLY BOOK SPEAKING: I want my romance to be a once-in-a-lifetime love and a widow who was previously in love and then falling in love again is difficult for me to fall along with. Of course there are always exceptions, but in general.
Outside of my preference, I thought this book was well-written. I felt like the plot was complete, there were no glaring holes or missteps. I felt like the characters acted within the story appropriately and while I figured out a few things ahead of time, there were still a few shocking moments for me at the end. My biggest issue is that the blurb makes it seem like the town thinking he was an asshole was going to play a much bigger part than it did. Maybe that’s just me because I’ve been in a weird state lately.
Characters: I liked Tristan. I don’t know that there’s anything I would’ve changed about him. His thoughts were beautiful and heart was even better.
Overall, I liked Elizabeth. Other than the fact that I HATED that she tried to be so nice, to the point I felt it was detrimental to herself, and that she cared what other people thought, I felt like she was relatable. I was genuinely proud of the way she handled a few things.
I didn’t like Faye. She was a bitchy person, but not in the way that is a compliment. Even after Tristan proved he wasn’t what everyone thought he was, she was still shitty. I’m still pretty sour about it.
Unfortunately, this book didn’t hurt me the way that I wanted it to. It was beautiful and the words were often poetic (to the point that I have 25 different areas highlighted), but I didn’t FEEL what they felt most of the time. Again, this could be just because I don’t like widow stories. Or it could be because I was distracted randomly throughout reading it. Or it could be that things I needed to experience with the characters were glossed over. Sometimes I felt like I was in the wrong character’s head at the time. If someone asked if they should read this book, I would say that it's worth the day it took me to do so, but I don’t think I’ll just pull it out of the ether to recommend.
-SPOILERS-
Trigger warnings: death of a child, child endangerment, attempted suicide.
Diving into the story… While Tristan is on a plane to chase some dreams, his wife and son are in an accident. Neither of them make it and he doesn’t even make it back before his wife passes. Tristan is presented as a man that was absolutely IN LOVE with his wife and son. Elizabeth’s husband also has passed away leaving her behind with a five-year-old daughter to care for. When they meet, Tristan is a grouch, but Elizabeth is drawn to him anyway - presumably because like recognizes like, ya know. Eventually, it turns into a romance novel, of course. Lol
I think my favorite thing about this book was that it doesn’t start with Elizabeth trying to forget her husband. And while Tristan isn’t trying to keep his memories intact necessarily at first, he also isn’t trying to ruin them. When these two get together, they’re trying to remember their spouses, using the other as a placeholder. That isn’t a super common theme for me and I found it oddly beautiful. (My husband thinks I’m crazy, I’m fairly certain.) Nonetheless, it made the story something more than just a Hallmark widow story for me. These characters are broken but instead of running away from it, they fall into it. I think because of that, I felt like they worked through their grief a bit more than most books allow.
Back to my earlier comment of having a hard time moving on when widow’s move on in books:
When Elizabeth’s husband dies, she up and leaves town. She goes home to her mom’s for a year. Even though she’s shattered though, she has a very young child, and for that reason alone, it makes sense that Elizabeth couldn’t close her heart to the world. There’s no such thing as blocking out the entire world and it not messing with a kid’s head. I don’t think in a situation as this you can harden your heart to everyone and everything OTHER than your child and it still not mess with them. Also, it gives her a weak spot for falling in love again. When someone comes along that comforts her and is INCREDIBLE to her daughter…well, it makes sense that she falls for him. All that being said, she doesn’t fall for Tristan as fast as he does her and that was harder for me. Tristan lost his wife AND child…whom we are to believe he absolutely LOVED. He turned into a “monster” and lost himself entirely, but still, he figured out his feelings for Elizabeth first.
The only thing that justifies it for me is that Elizabeth works through her grief before saying they’re together and he works through his after his feelings have taken root. Tristan says he loves Elizabeth, but then when he goes home, it’s shown how he’s not fully over his trauma. But does that make Elizabeth a rebound for him? I don’t feel like Elizabeth using Tristan as a way to still feel her husband is a rebound. Her feelings developed for him outside of that, but his were inside. I don’t know.
It’s late and I’m rambling. Lol. Maybe my thoughts will straighten out after some sleep.
Standalone; Book #1 in the Elements series | 308 Pages | Trope Challenge: Widow |
“I want to know who you are, Tristan. I want to know where you go when you get lost in your mind. I want to know what makes you shout in your dreams. I want to see the darkness in you that you fight daily to keep hidden. Can you do something for me?” she asked.
“Anything.”
Her hands fell to my heart, and she watched my inhales and exhales against her fingertips. “Show me the part of you that you try to keep buried. Show me where it hurts the most. I want to see your soul.”
- The Air He Breathes by Brittainy C. Cherry
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