Sign Here for Horns
by V.K. Ludwig
I accidentally bought myself an alien concubine.
Thirty-one, recently divorced, and behind on the mortgage for my farm, I scrape my last savings together and buy myself a farmhand.
That big, horned alien I end up with? He’s a Vandalar saikh, a male concubine, and he wants to plow more than just my fields.
Guess I should have read the fine print of the purchase contract better because the trader refuses to take him back. Now I’m stuck with weed-infested fields, red letters from the bank, and a guy who says he studied one million ways to please a female. (His words, it’s not like I’m going to count…)
Spice Level: 3.5/6 | Story Score: 6/10 | Rating: 3.5/5 |
I really did myself a disservice here because I read this book at the beginning of January and I’m writing the review in mid-February. I guess we’ll see how well I remember things. I’m fairly certain that I saw this book on Tiktok. While I enjoy a good alien story, I generally stick to pretty human-looking ones, so it had to be a recommendation. I’d already used up my “alien” trope spot, so this one didn’t go on my trope challenge, but it did meet the criteria for Shirtless in January!
This was a short book, only 164 pages. Going in knowing that, I didn’t expect a lot of world building, and there wasn’t. You get the gist of the world, but anything pertaining to outside of the main characters isn’t focused on. The female main character was relatable (if I remember correctly). She lives on another planet and owns a farm – but her husband left her. She needs a slave to help tend to the crops and goes to buy one.
Ok, ok. So that doesn’t sound relatable.
But she gets there and only has the money to buy this one guy…this one guy that is just jerking his chain as much as he can in front of her. (Turns out, he was raised to be in a harem.)
She gets him home and things get spicy. Well, she freaks out a bit because that was not her plan. Some lack of communication follows and some other shenanigans.
Alright, so maybe the storyline isn’t relatable. Nonetheless, I think I liked her.
If you want a quick alien read, it’s an easy one. It progresses quickly thanks to its short nature. However, like Ice Planet Barbarians, take into consideration that it’s a different culture and some themes do not translate as well. You know, like slaves and dubious consent.
Book 1 in the Vandalar Concubine series | 164 Pages | Trope Challenge: -Not on Challenge- |
“I’m going to bury myself so deep inside you, there won’t be an inch on your body not knowing my touch.”
- Jax, Sign Here for Horns by V.K. Ludwig
Find it on:
Comments