Morning Glory Milking Farm
by C.M. Nascosta
Violet is a typical, down-on-her-luck millennial: mid-twenties, over-educated and drowning in debt, on the verge of moving into her parent’s basement. When a lifeline appears in the form of a very unconventional job in neighboring Cambric Creek, she has no choice but to grab at it with both hands.
Morning Glory Milking Farm offers full-time hours, full benefits, and generous pay with no experience needed . . . there’s only one catch. The clientele is Grade A certified prime beef, with the manly, meaty endowments to match. Milking minotaurs isn’t something Violet ever considered as a career option, but she’s determined to turn the opportunity into a reversal of fortune.
When a stern, deep-voiced client begins to specially request her for his milking sessions, maintaining her professionalism and keeping him out of her dreams is easier said than done. Violet is resolved to make a dent in her student loans and afford name-brand orange juice, and a one-sided crush on an out-of-her-league minotaur is not a part of her plan—unless her feelings aren’t so one-sided after all.
Spice Level: 4/6 | Story Score: 7.5/10 | Rating: 4/5 |
Ok, ya’ll. I was not prepared. I downloaded this book as a joke because it sounded utterly bonkers but people just kept talking about it. Let’s start with what trope I put this one on for the challenge: ‘mythological CREATURE’. Yeah. You cool? Ok, then proceed.
Our female lead needs a job, but it’s tough out there, so you take what you can. I can relate. However, never had I considered working at a MINOTAUR MILKING FARM. What’s a minotaur? Well, it’s a bull man. That’s right. Bull head, hide instead of skin, hooves instead of feet. But he walks upright on two hooves.
And a milking farm? Well, it’s like a sperm bank.
Wait, you’re still confused? Alright! I’ll be straight with you. Her job is giving hand jobs to bull men all day and collecting their ejaculate because it’s used to make the story’s equivalent of Viagra. Boom. (I’ll have you know my husband was like, ‘wtf’ when I told him about this one and he’s pretty used to my madness.)
She goes through the training and her first client that she’s going to ‘work’ on is our Mr. Bull. She does him right, ya’ll, and he keeps coming back and requesting her. They start a bit of flirtation and the rest is the romance portion. (Don’t worry, I’ve got spoilers for this one.)
Ok, ok. Review. There is a LOT of imagery in this book and if you aren’t familiar with fantasy creatures, it’s going to take you a minute. I am familiar with them -I love me some DnD- and I still had to pause to imagine all the creatures she mentions here. There is also some jumping around in the timeline and that takes a minute. It took me a hard time, especially the first one that you get without warning.
Now…the wild part. This author somehow made a story about jacking off cows without any sleaze. Like, this story had more relationship building than nearly all of the others I’ve read this year. The female lead comes to see her job as a job, like I’m sure most sex workers do. It isn’t something sexual for her. It’s clinical. The point is a speedy COLLECTION because these Business Bulls are doing this to make extra money in an expensive world. They have kids at home to put through school and partners to support.
Don’t get me wrong, this book was odd. I mean, bulls have wide noses and wider mouths and giant tongues…and apparently different penises.
But the relationship is sweet. Mr. Bull was successful, mature, and a gentleman.
-SPOILERS-
So Mr. Bull is presumably much older than our leading female. Maybe he wasn’t, but he was just more experienced? I don’t remember. It’s been a bit. Since their relationship is kind of starting from a weird place (she’s already handled his dick a lot), Mr. Bull tells her that nothing is going to happen until she’s ready. They take the time to get to know each other, genuinely, because this isn’t just about sex for either of them.
The kissing scenes are WEIRD. His face is not made for it and I couldn’t imagine it without some awkwardness.
When she finally realizes that he’s going to be patient to the point of driving her mad, she pushes him a little and we end up with her getting fingered at a restaurant. Lol. Ask and you shall receive.
The initial sex scene was interesting. Mr. Bull is well-endowed and it takes a minute. Honestly, I wish it had been more than that minute, but eh. Turns out that bulls have a larger bulge in the middle of their length. I don’t know how to explain that, but that’s the gist.
Once the characters are together, there’s minimal conflict and it’s just an odd-cutesy read.
If you read this, ask for the picture of our Mr. Bull. Yes, there’s an illustrated picture that comes with the book depending on where you order it from. Warning: dick out.
Book 1 in the Cambric Creek series | 252 Pages | Trope Challenge: Mythological Creature |
She was going to come very soon at this rate, orgasming in public, unable to control herself. Who knew what she’d do next in her frenzied state. I’m sorry, officer, I didn’t mean to fellate this minotaur in the middle of the dining room, but you see, he’s been playing so fucking hard to get that I snapped.
- Violet, Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta
Find it on:
Comments